To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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