Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
