so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
