I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
