i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
time to smoke my breakfast
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize