I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
