I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
