The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
