Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
