There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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