In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize