You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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