I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
