dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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