Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
