Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I came so hard my ears popped.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
