This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
