Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
