she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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