K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So vagazzling was a success
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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