i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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