I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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