KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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