his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
