Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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