Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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