I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
