drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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