I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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