Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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