i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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