Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
