We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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