Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
