Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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