As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
