You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
