Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
