NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
