I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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