i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
