Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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