How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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