"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
