Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
