Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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