4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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