How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
