You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Enjoy the penises
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize