i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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