so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
