I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
