UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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