i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
