i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
