How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize