Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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