id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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