love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
