yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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